…and one massive one of pain.

The Australia countdown is on!  It’s been feeling like it’s months away for, well, months.  All of a sudden, it seems, there are two weeks to go and a few minor details I still need to sort.  Like currency.  Insurance.  A beer helmet.  That kind of thing.  I’m not, as a rule, a great shopper but I went into town today to attend to these things and came home with precisely none of them.  Instead, I bought a massive green inflatable ball.  As you do.  In other words, exactly what you don’t need for your hand luggage when you’re travelling halfway round the world.

This is what I mean when I say I’m not a great shopper.  I am a store designer’s dream and shopping trips tend to end up a bit on the random side.  In general, I’ll leave a shop with whatever pretty thing my eye has alighted upon first.  Need new shoes?  Try these headphones instead!  Kettle on the blink?  You’ll need these pillows, then!  On aggregate, I suppose I end up with more or less everything I need, just not necessarily when I need it.

Apparently this ball is going to trick my middle-aged backside into believing its 27.  I’m sitting on it right now.  Boing.  If I do all the exercises which are outlined in the accompanying DVD over the next two weeks, I should end up with the beach body of my dreams.  Of course, you know me well enough by now to know that this will never happen.  Instead, I can see it becoming a kind of grown up space-hopper which only comes out at parties.  I’ve already wrapped a dressing gown belt round it and bounced across the living room.  Not to worry.  My ball may not give me a killer beach body in time for Oz, but I can always hide behind it.

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